A Change of Heart: Edward's New Moon
by alanna51
Summary: After Edward is saved by Bella in New Moon, she leaves him for Jacob... How does Edward cope with losing his love... we shall see.This is a story about love, loss, insanity and the ultimate choice. Edwards Point-of-View.
1. Chapter 1

I stood in front of my life, my love my Bella. She had called me out to the woods, in the same spot where I'd made the stupidest mistake of my existence. Where I'd told her I wasn't coming back, but yet, here I was standing in front of her, after she'd risked it all to stop me from the Volturi. She stared at me, a small frown on her face.

"Edward I........ I have something to tell you................. I"

A sour taste filled my mouth, even though I wasn't Alice I could fell something bad coming. I nodded, unable to speak. This had been coming for some weeks now. It had been 3weeks since the whole Volturi run in. Ever since that time, Bella had been acting odd. I knew it had something to do with Jacob Black. He would come over often, especially after I left her house. I'd known there was something between them. I had just ignored it, hoping it wasn't true.

"When you left."

I winced.

"I went numb....... I thought I couldn't move on..... And then I met Jacob...."

I felt my lips pull back from my teeth; it was an automatic response to that dog's name.

"Don't be like that" Bella said, noticing my expression, her frown deepening, "Jake helped me when no one else could."

I winced again; the thought of that dog helping her repulsed me.

"What are you saying Bella?" I knew exactly where she was going, but I needed her to say it...... I needed to hear it out loud.

She stepped towards me and placed her hands on my cheeks. Looking up at me she stared into my eyes for a few moments. I saw none of the previous passion for me there; instead I saw a brotherly affection than made my heart ache. Then, her voice so soft it sounded as if she was talking to herself, she whispered "I'm so sorry... I still love you Edward..... But it's more like a brother.... I love Jacob now.... I'm sorry it's................ over"

I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach. She couldn't be serious, but yet as I looked into those soulful chocolate brown eyes again, I knew.. I knew.... it was true and she was lost to me. She stepped away from me, the wind blew and I got a whiff of her intoxicating sent. I realised it would probably be the last time I would smell her. My brain couldn't comprehend....... for the first time in over 100 years I found the one thing I couldn't understand.

"Why?" I whispered my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry Edward...............I .....Just.....I.....I"

"No, Bella............ I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you." My voice had gone soft and dead, "Be happy" I said as I kissed her forehead. She flinched, obviously used to the warm kisses _he_ could give her.

I stepped away from her as I smelt_ him_ approach, "Good-bye" I whispered. He was close enough now that she could hear him approach too. He stepped into the clearing and I backed up a few more steps.

"I'm sorry Edward", Bella whispered, as _he _wrapped an arm around her waist. Bella, _my _Bella, looked up at him; her eyes filled with sadness for me and love for him. _He _didn't say anything, a fact I was glad for. He just gave me a sad smile, as if he understood my pain.

I turned and ran.

* * *

I tore through the woods, the wind that once felt freeing, and soothing now felt harsh and cruel against my face. I reach the house, memories of the first time I brought Bella here washing over me, mocking me and ripping a hole in my chest.

I bolted up the stairs to my room, ripping some of the stairs loose as I went. Rage, unfathomable rage, filled me......not at her and not at him, but rage at _myself._.. for being the cause of all this. If I hadn't left...no.....what tortured me the most was the thought that even if I had stayed, she would have found _him_. As much as I hated to admit it he was better for her...... more human. _He_ could give her things I couldn't; she could stay beautifully human with him.

I ripped my stereo off the stand, with a half roar, half sob I hurled it though the glass wall of my room. The glass shattered, raining down on the grass below. The wires holding the speakers to the base were ripped from the wall, pulling them through the hole in window. I began grabbing CDs off the racks and started to throw them at the wall, some shattered, while others embedded themselves in the plaster. My arms flew faster and faster, until they were just a blur to human eyes.

In seconds, the racks were empty. I fell to the floor, dry sobs racking my throat. I heard Carlisle and Jasper come into my room. Carlisle crouched in front of me, "I'm so sorry Edward... so sorry..." He said wrapping his arms around me, in a fatherly embrace. Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder attempting to send calming waves to me.

I shoved both of them away and curled into a ball on the floor, my sobs turning into whimpers. I was not lucky enough to be able to fade into unconsciousness.

I went numb.

I did not resurface.


	2. Chapter 2

I lay curled up on my bedroom floor, the gold carpet being flattened my cold hard cheek. It had been three weeks, two days, fourteen hours, fifteen minutes and thirty - six seconds since I'd lost my love. It hurt to think her name.

Carlisle walked into my room then, the same worried expression he'd had on his face for the past 3 weeks still in place.

"Edward," he said calmly, almost tiredly, "You need to hunt, your family and I can't stand to see you waste away like this."

I knew I needed to hunt the bur n at the back off my throat was unbearable, my entire existence was unbearable so it didn't really matter, one way or another. Unwillingly, I thought back to the past three weeks. Of course, being a vampire, I could remember every single detail of those weeks as if they'd happened in the past few hours.

The family hadn't believed it at first. Rosalie was taking it the best, she had never been close to Bella and she blamed her for my condition. _My condition, _that's what they called it.

Emmet and Jasper were in shock. Emmet missed Bella and Jasper couldn't comprehend how she could choose dogs over us. Carlisle, Esme and Alice were taking it the worst. Esme and Carlisle, even though they wanted Bella to be happy, still felt as if they'd lost a daughter. Alice had seen bits of this coming, partly due to the fact that Bella's future kept vanishing. I did not blame her though, I only blamed myself.

At first, just after _it _happened, my family members left me alone, they knew I liked to be left alone with my problems, then as time went by someone would come and sit with me. They wouldn't talk, but just sit and stare at the floor with me. Esme and Alice came the most but, their thoughts were too painful to bear so Carlisle made them stop. I'd didn't care one way or another, I was too numb.

Carlisle would sit, his thoughts calm and soothing, but laced with hurt at my state. Surprisingly Jasper was the most soothing to have around, his thoughts were perfectly calm and controlled, they never once strayed to Bella, and his soothing waves helped some. I had become somehow closer to my newest brother in these past weeks.

Now here Carlisle was, nagging me to hunt. That was the last thing I needed write now.

"Edward," Carlisle said again.

Looking up at him from my position on the floor, I gave him my famous black stare. He just raised one blonde brow and looked down on me, "Do you want to waste away then?" he said, a trace of anger in his voice, "I know it hurts," Carlisle said gentler this time, as he crouched down by me, "but you can't do this to yourself."

"You" I snarled, standing up slowly, "what would you know about this, you've never been in this position. How would you feel, Carlisle, if Esme left you?" I hissed through my teeth as I stepped closer to him. I could feel my anger boiling inside me, trying to find a way out. As I stepped closer Carlisle calmly took a step back.

That did it.

"_How would you feel, Carlisle?"_ I roared as I shoved him away using all my strength, Carlisle flew across the room, crashing thought the wall with the now empty CD racks. I leapt after him, wrapping my hands around his neck, I began to pound his head into the floor over and over.

"What would you feel Carlisle? What would you _feel_?"I shrieked, my voice becoming crazed.

I felt two pairs of strong arms wrap around me and pull me off Carlisle. I kicked and thrashed, shrieking like a madman.

"What would you do, what would you do?" I couldn't stop repeating the phrase, my voice sounded crazed and sick even to me. Emmet pulled my head back by my hair and rammed it into the opposite wall. My shrieking died down into a whimper, the blow didn't hurt but it was enough to bring me to my senses. Emmet still had his arms around me holding me as the sobs shook my frame.

Carlisle stood up, dusting off his clothes. Esme had come into the room and she placed a hand on my arm to comfort me. I snarled.

"That's it," Carlisle said, his gold gaze meeting my black one, "I didn't want to this, Edward, but I have no other choice, Emmet, Jasper," he said nodding to them.

"No" I growled, when I heard his thoughts.

"I'm sorry" he whispered

Emmet and Jasper grabbed me and wrestled me out my room threw the window. I kicked and thrashed wildly, but their combined strength was too much. In the black yard they held me down and Carlisle vanished into the woods.

"It's for your own good Edward," Emmet growled.

I ignored him and pressed my lips into a hard line. Carlisle returned a large deer in his grasp. The deer was still alive and it was struggling wildly. The animal's scent washed over me, making venom pool in my mouth. I swallowed and turned my head away. Carlisle approached me and Emmet and Jasper sat me up. I let out a defiant roar.

Carlisle, his lips twisted into a frown, crouched down in front of me and snapped the deer's neck. The venom rushed into my mouth, too much for me to swallow. I turned away from the mouth watering scent, fighting my inner monster. Carlisle's hand reached around and twisted my face to the deer.

I snarled.

Instinct took over.

I pushed Emmet and Jasper aside, the push wasn't very effective as I was weak from lack of blood, and dug my teeth into the soft flesh of the deer's neck. The warm flavour filled my mouth, it was still slightly off, but to my starved monster it was enough.

I finished the deer and stood up, faster than human eyes could follow. I looked around wildly. I wanted more, I_ needed _more blood.

Without a word I took off into the trees.


	3. Chapter 3

I raced through the trees, the scents of the forest surrounding me. I could smell _everything_. The hunger burned my throat still, the deer hadn't even begun to ease the burn. As I ran, the familiar trees brought back once happy memories.

My head suddenly snapped up as a strong, delicious scent washed over me. It was the best thing I had smelt in three weeks, chocolate mixed with strawberries.

_Human._

The passing wind blew the scent over my face. I put out my tongue to taste it. My inner monster roared with need and began to push through my human facade. I turned in the direction of the scent and ran. As I cut through the foliage I heard Alice's distant shocked gasp when she saw what I was about to do. I sped up, knowing I now had only a few minutes before one of my family members caught up with me.

"Fine," I thought to myself, "If that's what the monster wants, that's what the monster gets."

I smiled evilly as I reached the source of the scent.

* * *

The girl was tall and had a dancer's build, her blonde hair fell in gentle waves to her shoulders and her jade green eyes sparkled even in the murky light. I assumed that to most humans she would have been pretty, to me, however pretty was brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. I heard the distant running steps of my family getting closer. I had to act fast. I stepped out of the trees.

"Hello," I said. She jumped and turned to face me, her shoulders tense as if she expected an attack. When she saw me she immediately relaxed, charmed by my looks, my voice and even my smell. I winced as my thoughts brought back painful memories of a conversation I had with a certain girl....... when my existence seemed to have purpose.

The girl in front of me smiled and her posture became flirtatious. "Hi", she said, her voice was high and shrill, it hurt my ears. All her movements were seeped in grace, I wanted clumsiness. The girl flipped her hair, causing her scent to waft over me. The monster snarled in anticipation.

I took a step closer and her thoughts drifted to whether or not I liked blondes. She didn't know how wrong she was. I smiled and her expression changed, the flirtatiousness faded to fear. In her minds' eye my smile was just a little too wide and showed a little too much teeth, making me look slightly crazed. My family was closer now. I could hear their thoughts screaming at me to stop. Without another word I lunged at her.

My teeth dug into the soft, succulent flesh of her neck and the sweet flavour of her blood rushed over my tongue and down my throat. I barely heard the girl's strangled cry of pain as I dug in deeper and drank.......

And drank........

And drank..............

I stopped when I realised I was only sucking air out of her. I held her away from me; her blank green eyes stared at ground. I hugged her cold, still body tighter when the reality of what I'd done seeped into my brain. As I set her on the ground, her head shifted and her dead eyes seemed to stare up at me, accusing me of what I'd done. I dropped her body and it hit the wet ground with a dull splat. I crawled frantically backward as her hair and eyes faded and darkened to brown. Her face morphed into one that was all too familiar, a face with full lips and pale skin, which caused me pain whenever I thought of its warmth.

_Bella_

I felt the last weak treads of my mind snap.

I went mad.

* * *

When my family found me I was curled into a ball on the forest floor, slowly rocking back and forth. "I killed Bella, I killed Bella" I muttered under my breath.

"Carlisle" Emmet said, looking around frantically, "Why is he saying that, what's wrong with him?" In his mind he didn't see Bella lying dead in front of me, with her throat wide open. He saw some blonde instead.

"Edward, Edward calm down", Carlisle said, enunciating each word as if speaking to a child. "Bella is not dead. She's fine. Everything will be just fine. Jus-."

"What are you talking about?" I hissed flipping to my feet. "She's right here, can't you see? She's right here!"

I grabbed Bella's body by the arms and shook her in front of Carlisle.

"SHE'S RIGHT HERE!" I shrieked, shaking her harder. "RIGHT HERE!"

"Edward! Stop, Edward stop!" Esme cried sobbing. "It's not Bella it's someone else!"

"LIAR!" I roared, throwing Bella's body at her. Carlisle sprang at me knocking me down, "Emmet, Jasper, Rose, help me," he growled. Emmet and Rose took my feet, Jasper and Carlisle took my hands. Jasper sent wave, after wave of calm at me. It didn't work. The four of them carried me back to the house. I kicked and screamed the entire way.

"DON'T YOU SEE? I KILLED HER! I KILLED HER! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

Why couldn't they?


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter 4! **

* * *

I struggled against the chains that held me down. I was chained to Alice and Jasper's bed by chains made of a special alloy which I couldn't break. I snarled and growled. The scene on my return to the house had been horrible. Esme was sobbing. Carlisle, Jasper, Emmet and Rose were trying to hold me, I was screaming and Alice's face was like stone. Now here I was, a one hundred and eight year old man chained to a bed. This was degrading. I could hear my family talking downstairs.

"What are we going to do about this Carlisle?" Emmet said. "He can't go on like this, it's driving him mad."

"Driving him mad? He's already mad Em." Rose hissed from the couch, her fists clenched, almost breaking the arms of the chair, "And it's all because of that stupid bitch Bella."

I snarled. No one spoke about Bella that way. N_o one._ I struggled harder against the chains.

"Rose," Carlisle said his voice firm. "Bella made her choice. She had a right to. We cannot change it and we have to deal with it." He met the eyes of everyone in the room. "All of us."

"But what can we do to help him? I've never seen him like this." Esme sighed.

Carlisle remained silent. He'd seen me like this a long time ago. I was a newborn and struggling with the blood lust. The living room was silent for some moments.

"A change of scenery," Jasper murmured. He had been leaning on the piano, staring at the floor. "We need to move."

* * *

I stared out the glass window of our new house. It had been two months since our move. Esme had decided she wanted to go to a similar place, so we returned to Carlisle's homeland, England. I loved England, as much as I could love anything these days, my emotions felt odd, as if I was a third party observing them, but not experiencing them for myself.

I was alone in the house. The rest of the family was at a hospital benefit with Carlisle. I rarely went out. I preferred to stay inside and dream - not normal dreams that humans experience. My dreams were memories, but I preferred to think of them as dreams. It hurt too much to think of them as memories. When I thought of them as dreams it made them seem less real, less painful.

I turned from the window and walked up the stairs to my room. It wasn't much of a room, the walls and floor were bare. Like most of our houses one wall was glass, the window looked out onto the pool that came with the house. I went into a corner of the room, lay down on the floor and shut my eyes, letting the memories wash over me.

_Bella and I lying in our meadow... The sun warm on her skin, her scent washing over me. Her beautiful brown eyes wide with wonder at my skin, yet filled with trust and love. _

_The first time I ran with her on my back. My amusement at her fear of hitting a tree... The first time we kissed...her lips so warm and inviting against mine.._

My eyes snapped open. I was curled into a tight ball on the floor, whimpers coming from my throat. I had delved too far into the memories. The hole in my silent heart was ripped open with new fury. The pain burrowed into my chest like a white hot stake. I pressed my fists against my temples and rocked back forth, immersing myself in the pain. "The humane vampire getting staked," I laughed grimly to myself.

New pictures washed into my tortured brain. Bella with_ him_... Being held in _his_ arms... Having a bright happy future with _him_, who could give her everything I couldn't. _He_ could pleasure her, _he _could give her children, _he _could grow old with her. Yet dispite this pain, this emence, mind numbing pain, I was happy for her and in no way did I wish her any harm. I still loved her, and as much as I hated to admit it I was happy for _him_, he was lucky to have gotten her and he had better realise it.

I heard the sounds of my family returning. Esme stared towards my room but drifted away again, her thoughts troubled. Jasper opened the door to my room and stuck his head in. When he saw me curled on the floor he came fully into the room

"_Why does he do this to himself,"_ Jasper thought to himself.

He sat down on the floor near me, his legs crossed under him. "Edward, you have to stop this, you cannot keep torturing yourself like this." he said his voice soft.

I remained silent.

"The entire family is worried about you. Please at least just try to deal with the situation."

"The situation," I repeated softly. "Is that all you see it as..... A SITUATION!" my voice tore through two octaves as I continued. "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF ALICE LEFT YOU? WOULD YOU JUST DEAL WITH THE 'SITUATION'?"

Jasper winced as I sprang to my feet, now towering over his sitting figure.

"How would you feel, Jasper, if you thought Alice was_ dead_ and then she saves you from killing yourself, only to rip out your heart three weeks later for a dog? Do you think you'd DEAL WITH IT?"

"Edward, don't ....be-

"I'm not angry with her. Of course not! I am angry at myself! For not holding on to her, for not being able to give her everything that would make her happy, for not-

"You gave her all you could!" Jasper said interrupting me. "She moved on, stop blaming yourself! Stop being so blasted masochistic!"

I just stared at him, my gaze slick and black, clenching my jaw so hard I thought it would break.

"Get out." I growled

Jasper just stared at me his eyes narrowed in frustration, "I just want to help, Edward, I just want to help. Talk to me, let me help you."

"GET OUT. " I shrieked, shutting my eyes with the force of the scream that made the glass wall shake.

He was silent for a few moments, just standing there. I felt an unnatural breeze pass me and then he was gone.

* * *

I sat on the couch in the living room arguing with myself. The fight with Jasper had been bothering me. He was only trying to help and a part of my brain was beginning to think I needed that help. I sighed and thought back to the past afternoon.

I had gone for a walk along a lonely side road to escape my family or, more specifically, Jasper. As I walked I thought back to my days with Bella. So I didn't see the girl until she bumped right into me. I automatically put my hands on her shoulders to prevent her from falling. Our eyes met for a moment and her thoughts flowed into my brain. I saw my face reflected in her mind's eye.

My eyes were wide and dull; their hazel colour looked washed out. My jaw was hanging slightly open as if I was in shock, my expression blank. All this coupled with my chalky pallor made me look like a monster from the movies......like a zombie.

I leaned my head back on the couch and shut my eyes. I knew I couldn't go on like this. A simple encounter with a human girl had opened my eyes to just how far-gone I was. Bella would want me to move on, wouldn't she? I sighed again. I had to at least appear happy for my family. I stood up and flitted upstairs to Alice and Jasper's room. With a deep breath I knocked on the door.

"Come in." A soft voice said.

I entered to find Jasper on the bed with a book in his lap, some Latin novel.

"Jasper," I said looking at the floor, "I need – I want help."

He just nodded

I looked up at him and he patted a spot on the bed next to him, "Come and talk to me."

I sat stiffly on the bed next to him, feeling the calming waves he emitted washing over me. I took a deep breath and began to tell my newest brother _everything._

* * *

** I hoped everyone liked it! Please leave a review telling me what you thought, i adore each and everyone of those reviews and will answer as many as i can. I fanthing sounds werid or forced please let me know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who faved, reviewed and put this story on thier alerts! **

* * *

Time passes, even for a vampire to whom time is an endless stretch of wide open road, with no limit, no boundaries. Where a month feels like a week and an hour passes in the blink of an eye. But passes it does.

* * *

**10 years later**

Time passed. We moved and strangely enough I began to heal… the whole in my chest now felt like a dull ache on good days and on bad days I was left on the floor curled in a ball. The bad days were becoming few and far between though. There was still a piece of me missing and that piece belonged to Bella and always would. I wouldn't have it any other way. Bella had touched my life in a way that could never be repeated.

I sat up straighter in my chair, Alice had news. I knew because she was translating Germany's national anthem into Arabic and Farsi simultaneously to distract me from reading her thoughts.

"What's going on Alice?" I asked as she strode into the new living room. Her face was both happy and worried at the same time.

"I'll tell you, let me get the rest of family" she said (still translating) then she began shifting from foot to foot something she only did when she had pressing news.

The members of our family flitted into the room after being called.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper said, sensing her mood.

Alice took a deep breath, shot a worried look in my direction and then said, "Bella's getting married to Jacob."

There was stunned silence for a moment. From everyone's thought's I could tell they were happy for Bella and worried about me. Part of me wanted to fall down and die… anther part wanted to rush over to her and beg her to rethink her decision, to forget about Jacob and take me back. I stood up, forced a smile onto my face and left the room.

Alice followed me, "Edward," she said her voice worried, "I understand if you don't want to go, but I really want to see Bella."

"Who said I wasn't going?" I said making up my mind in an instant, "Bella is still a part of this family, and we should all go and wish her well."

Alice's face brightened, "Are you sure?" she said.

I just nodded. She flitted out the room yelling for Esme.

I exhaled deeply though my nose. This wasn't going to be easy, but I had to see Bella on last time. My mind was already thinking ahead, of course this would be the last time I would see her. After this she would start her new life with Jacob and soon I would be a distant memory. I grimaced, that's what hurt me the most these days, the fact that she would forget me. That all the memories of us that remained bright and clear in my mind would soon fade and be replaced as she grew older. But maybe, maybe I could give her something, something to remember me by. I thought for a few seconds and then it came to me. I had the perfect gift.

The wedding day had arrived. Alice was practically bouncing in the seat of car as we drove up to the church. The wedding was being held at the church in Forks so the treaty was still in tact. According to Alice the service was going to be very small. Alice had begged Bella to let her help pay for a bigger wedding, but Bella had put her foot down to a very grumpy Alice.

The only people in attendance would be the members of the pack and their families and Charlie, who was in on the vampires and werewolves thanks to his relationship with Sue. Renee was the only one who was in the dark about us and thanks to the fact she had never seen any of us a story was concocted that made us 'close' friends of the Black family. The irony of that was almost funny.

My family and I entered the church. As we were taking our seats, on the mahogany pews, I noticed the members of the pack staring at us. Seth came over and began to chat animatedly with Carlisle and Esme. Alice flitted out of the room to go see Bella.

I just sat there in silence, a voice in the back of my whispering _this is it, this is it._ I nervously fiddled, with the long box in my pocket, I was thinking of the perfect time to talk to Bella (if she would see me) and give her my gift.

Just then Alice came back into the room. Looking down at me she whispered, "Bella wants to see you."

I stared up at Alice in shock, "See me?" I whispered my voice cracking.

Alice placed a hand on my shoulder, "Yes, she wants to see you Edward, and don't worry everything will be fine. I know remember?" she said tapping the side of her head, indicating her powers and trying to make me smile. "She's in the bride's room", Alice said as I stood up to leave.

I walked down the hall towards the bride's room rehearsing what I going to say, when her sent hit me… The lavender and freesia making the monster inside me roar with hunger. I stopped dead in my tracks. The sweet venom pooled in my mouth, using all my will power I swallowed. It was that day in biology all over again. _Calm down Edward _I told myself _you're stronger than this. You have to see her. You have to. _I stood in the hall way wrestling with my inner monster, shoving it deep down inside me. I had to see Bella and nothing was going to stop me. With my self-control intact I walked to the bride's room door and knocked.

* * *

**Dun dun dun! Does Edward attach Bella in the bride room? Do the wolves launch and attact and is anyone woundering where a certain group of vampires are?**


	6. Chapter 6

"Come in." a soft voice said, I walked into the room and Bella turned to face me. My eyes widened at the sight of her, she was still as beautiful as the day I'd last saw her. Her mahogany colored hair had been pulled back from her face, making her look more mature. It was odd seeing Bella look so…_womanly. _She wasn't the same girl I left so long ago.

The white dress she wore fitted her beautifully. The lacy bodice bared her creamy shoulders; the skirt was gently A line and fell into a short train.

Her eyes sparkled as they traced my face. "You look exactly the same." She whispered.

"You don't." I said, flashing the crooked smile she loved so much. Bella's face lit up and she rushed across the room towards me, wrapping me in a hug. I froze, shocked and happy by her reaction to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, returning the embrace, and momentarily lifting her feet off the ground. Her body against mine made me think of a past time, when her jumping on me was a normal experience.

"I'm so glad you came." She whispered in my ear.

"I am to." I said, breathing in her sent, and swallowing the venom in my throat softly enough so Bella wouldn't hear me. We stayed that way for a few minutes, Bella in my arms; her feet dangling off the floor. I gently put her down and the blush I loved so much colored her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she said straightening her skirt, "I didn't mean to jump on you like that."

I smiled at her.

"You never have to apologize to me Bella," I said, fixing my jacket, which had become mussed from her hug. She blushed even deeper.

"I have a present for you," I told her, raising a hand to silence her as she began to protest, "Just take it."

"Edward, I can't accept it," she said with her hands on her hips, her voice chiding "you know how I feel about presents, and you shouldn't have bought me anything."

Some things never change. I pulled out the long white box and handed it to her. Bella hesitated for a second, biting her lip before opening the box. Her eyes widened as she took in my mother's bracelet. The heart shaped diamond glittered even in the murky light of the room.

"It belonged to my mother; I inherited it when she died and… I want you to have it Bella," I said, "so a piece of me will always be with you."

I know it wasn't the most appropriate gift to give her on her wedding day, but I couldn't help it. If only she knew…if only she knew, I had planed to give her the bracelet as a wedding present, for _our _wedding.

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful."

I smiled again, smiling seemed easy around her. I knew this wouldn't last though. As soon as I left this room everything would go back to the way it had been before, but I wouldn't think of that now. I would just enjoy this fleeting moment of happiness while it lasted.

"Shall I help you put it on?" I asked reaching for the bracelet as Bella nodded.

I slid the cool sliver chain onto Bella's delicate wrist, letting my thumb brush against her skin longer than necessary. Our eyes met and I was surprised to see that her eyes were filled with tears.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" I asked, even though she wasn't mine I still felt protective over her.

"It's just…" she looked away from me, a tear running down her cheek.

"What, Bella, what is it? Did _he_ do something?"

"No, no it's not him. It's just… you look so …sad."

I stared at her in shock, I thought I'd had a handle on my emotions, but I guess I'd been wrong. I looked at Bella who was looking down at our feet. Walking over to her I placed a hand under her chin and raised her face to mine.

"Edward, I'm so sor-..

"Listen to me," I said, cutting her off, "are you happy?"

She broke our gaze and nodded.

"Then that's all that matters" I let go of her chin and turned away, ready to leave before the whole in my chest ripped wide open again.

"No, it isn't," a soft voice said from behind me. "Your happiness is important to me Edward, I want… I need you to be happy."

I remained facing away from her, trying to control my emotions. She wanted me to be happy yet, the only thing that would make me truly happy was being with her. I inhaled an unnecessary breath, wincing as the venom burned my throat. I turned to face her, taking her hands in mine I said, "You know what would make me truly happy, but I won't take that from you, marry Jacob, be happy and every thing will fall into place."

Bella gave my hands a soft squeeze; we looked at each other, Bella's eyes looked sad, a bride shouldn't be sad on her wedding day.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "As long as you are happy I'll be happy." Then I softly pressed my lips against her cheek. We looked at each other again and an understanding passed between us. We both knew where we stood now. Bella smiled at me one last time and I gave her a soft hug. With out anther word I left the room.

The service was beautiful. Bella looked stunning as she walked down the isle. When she and Jacob exchanged vows they way they stared into each other's eyes made my heart ache. As they ran down the isle hand in hand, after the service, Bella's cheeks were flushed pink with happiness.

My family and I followed the crowd to wave her off as she left with Jacob. When she reached the church doors, Bella turned around and for a moment and our eyes met. The happy glow in them softened slightly and she mouthed three words that made my heart sore, even though I knew they weren't meant to be romantic. For a second my mind flashed to a time when this kind of future could have been possible for us. I had imagined Bella holding _my_ hand, and looking into _my _eyes at the alter, the two of us holding hands as we rushed trough a crowd of well wishers. That was the past now.

Jacob and Bella entered his car and sped off. A light rain had started to fall; Jacob's car had left slight tire marks in the thin mud. As I watched, the rain quickly erased them, leaving nothing but a muddy spot on the road. I sighed and turned away, heading toward my car. I had seen enough.

* * *

**5 years later**

Time passed. We moved again, things changed. I never saw Bella again after that day. I knew she had her own life to live now. We heard about the birth of Bella's first child. A girl named Sara after Jacob's mother. I imaged a child with a heart shaped face and long dark hair, of course I never saw her.

So time slid by. I went about life as normally as possible, as hard as it was. Then it happened.

The day started of like any other Alice and Rose went shopping. Japer, Carlisle and I went hunting. Everyone returned home and Alice made us try on the new clothes she'd bought us. In the middle of wrestling Jasper into a new jacket, Alice froze. Her expression changed into her vision face. Her bad vision face. I entered her mind and had the vision with her….

My world was torn into shreds and I was on the floor screaming at the top of my lungs. Carlisle rushed to my side trying to find out what was wrong. I curled into a ball, pressing my head between my knees, trying to comprehend what I had just seen. Alice was sobbing and Jasper was holding her by the shoulders trying to calm her. My screams died into whimpers. Jasper turned to me, expecting an explanation, but my jaw was shaking too much for me to speak. Then Alice choked out the words that horrified everyone,

"Bella dying…Volturi coming…"

My world seemed to go dark.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUUNN no one saw that coming huh?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the LONg wait for this chapter guys, I had exams and life went a little crazy for a while but now I'm back so here we go!**

**The basic point of the story comes to ligth in this chapter so hang on tight. :)**

I leaped to my feet, my cell phone already in hand. I raced outside while dialing, as I was sliding behind the wheel Jacob answered.

"This is Edward Cullen. Listen Jacob. I'm coming. Bella's in danger. Take her somewhere safe. Now."

"What are you-

"_Just do it_" I shrieked.

My hands tightened on the wheel as I sped up. I could hear my family behind me. "Just keep in control, just keep in control," I chanted to myself. The madness of the past months threatened to wash over me again. I could feel the panic coming on, the horror. If we didn't make it to la Push in time, Bella would be dead and the blame would lie on my shoulders. Why? Because I had told her about us.

I had promised Aro she would be turned and since she was still human the Volturi were going to _dispose _of the leak, the danger to the secret, Bella. She couldn't die; I would not let her be killed. I squeezed the wheel tighter, almost breaking it. I closed my eyes, even though I was driving, and began to do something I hadn't done in over one hundred years. Pray.

* * *

Once we reached the border at La Push the pack was there waiting for us. Jacob stood in front, the only one of them in his human form. His arms were crossed tightly over chest and his nostrils were flared in anger.

"Explain, bloodsucker." he demanded, as soon as we came into view.

"Where's Bella?" I threw back at him.

"Not until you tell us what's going on."

A low snarl escaped my throat. This was wasting time. Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder,

"They deserve to know Edward," he said softly.

I sighed, and looked at Jacob square in the eye as I said, "The Volturi are coming to k-kill Bella," my breath caught on the word, "because she knows about us."

The outraged thoughts of the pack hit me like something solid.

"How do you know this?" Jacob growled.

"Alice had a vision, now _please _Jacob let us help protect Bella." I began shifting from foot to foot, like a human in desperate need of the bathroom. "The Volturi are stronger than you think, we need each other's help."

Jacob sighed "Fine you can-

Just then Alice grabbed my arm, "They're coming," she said, her voice choked.

Jacob stepped aside and let us through the border.

"Where's Bella?" I asked as we ran through the woods.

"Back at the house,"

"_That's _the safest place you could think of!" I growled.

"She's with_ our_ daughter. Besides _blood sucker_, we can't afford to fly to a different continent whenever there's trouble." Jacob spat back at me. I suppressed a snarl and pushed myself harder, the need to protect Bella coloring my thoughts red.

We arrived at their house then. To my utter horror Bella stood on the front porch totally unprotected. I spun to face Jacob, ready to confront him about this, but he wasn't looking at me, his eyes were glued to Bella's.

"Where's Sara?" He asked moving to put an arm around her waist.

"Over at Emily's," Bella replied, "She'll be safest there." Her voice was shaking, she was putting on a brave face, but I could tell she was frightened. Jacob's arm tightened on her waist.

Bella's eyes skimmed over my family, stopping on me last. Gazing at my face her eyes seemed to linger for a moment. They were filled with worry. I started to walk over to her, but Alice's voice stopped me.

"The Volturi are almost here." She said her voice a monotone. "They plan to meet us at our old house."

Everyone stiffened.

"Do they know that Bella is still human?" Carlisle asked his eyes narrow with worry.

"I can't tell," Alice replied, "the wolves are blocking Bella's future from my sight. I'm not sure if she is going to - to die…..or not."

I started to bounce from foot to foot with anxiety again; we were wasting too much time talking! We needed to do something and we needed to do it fast. Carlisle took one look at my face and shook his head.

"Calm Edward, calm. We need to figure out some kind of plan. Hiding Bella won't solve anything. It will only aggravate the Volturi further.

"I know Carlisle, I know! But what can we do? There is no possible way to explain this to Aro. Once he sees Bella is still human he'll kill her! And-

"There is one way to fix all of this," Jasper interrupted softly, "the mongrels may not approve but it's the only solution as far as I can see."

My eyes widened as I read Jasper's suggestion from his head. I didn't say anything though; someone had to put it out there.

"What are you talking about bloodsucker?" Jacob asked his voice wary.

"It's simple really; we just have to change Bella."

There was a split second of pure silence in the clearing before Jacob snarled and threw himself at Jasper, his form blurring as he flew through the air. In moments a giant wolf was on top of Jasper snarling and trying to get at his throat. Jasper thrust his legs upward and kicked Jacob off of him easily, sending him flying into a tree. Before the fight could continue I stepped between the two them.

"ENOUGH" Carlisle's voice cut though the clearing. "None of this is making the situation any better. Jasper we –

"They've almost reached the house." Alice cut in, her face blank as she stared into the future.

"Then we have to go to them, if they come to the house and Bella's not there they'll start to search the town, and we _defiantly _don't want that to happen." Carlisle voice was quite, I could tell from his head that he was worried, _very_ worried. None of us knew what Aro's reaction would be when he found out Bella was still human. Carlisle and Aro were old friends, that might work in our favor… or it might not.

"We'd better get going" Emmet said, "Do we take Bella with us?"

Jacob growled menacingly.

"We have to mongrel. Would you rather the Volturi come here to search for her?"

"We don't have time for this. We have to leave now if we want to arrive at the house before the Volturi." Alice said sounding on edge.

"I'm coming" Bella called from the porch. "This is my problem and I won't be left at home like a child."

Jacob whined and pressed against Bella's legs as if trying to push her back into the house.

"I have to go Jacob, they can't come here where Sara is it's too dangerous."

"We have to leave_ now!_" Alice yelled her voice shrill.

"Fine then, Bella if you're coming go with Jacob. Everyone else we'll plan on the way." Jasper said curtly.

He took off into the trees and everyone hesitated for a moment, looking at each other, shocked by the speed of evens before finally following Jasper into the woods. With a quick look back at Bella's face I followed too.

* * *

I didn't like how this was playing out. It seemed too rushed. Bella's life hung in the balance and here she was running straight into the danger, riding on Jacob's back no less, as if the wolf was a horse. I mean yes he had fast reflexes but riding a werewolf had to be one of the most dangerous things she could possibly do and here she was going to meet the _Volturi _doing it…I should tell her something or - Jasper slowed to halt and yanked me to stop next to him, the rest of my family continued ahead.

"What are you doing? We need to be with them." Maybe I could accidentally knock her off him and catch her? Yes that might work or maybe –maybe -

"Edward...Edward!" Jasper was shaking my shoulders and sending wave after calming wave at me, "Calm down. Focus, we need to help Bella, you need to stay with us. Understand?"

I looked at him my eyebrows knotted in confusion. I needed to get Bella off Jacob's back and here he was interrupting my planning! Jasper shook my shoulders again. With an effort I refocused my thoughts nodded at him.

"I'm fine now,"

He looked at me a moment longer before releasing my shoulders. Together we took off after my family.

All too soon our house came into view.

"How long do we have until they arrive Alice?" I asked, moving to stand next to her, my voice shaking. Jasper positioned himself on Alice's other side and began scanning the woods.

"A few minutes." Alice looked into my face, her expression torn between horror and sadness; I don't know which one scared me more.

* * *

The silence in the clearing was charged. We all formed a loose semi-circle around Bella, putting her between us and the wall of the house. Then we saw them, five darkly cloaked figures gliding though the forest towards us, I quickly glanced back at Bella, but her eyes were still searching the woods, she hadn't seen them yet.

Jane and Alec emerged first; Jane's eyes immediately went to Bella. A small smile touched her lips when she realized Bella was still human. Her thoughts were gleeful; she wanted to see a good fight. Aro, Marcus and Caius came next. Aro's eyes slid over us slowly, taking everything in. When he saw Bella his thoughts became strangely…happy. He had an ulterior motive, something I couldn't read clearly.

"Carlisle, my old friend!" Aro said happily, stepping forward and extending his hand, "It has been far too long since I saw you last!"

Carlisle hesitated for several seconds, and then grasped Aro's hand firmly.

"Yes, there have been many changes since my son saw you last, Aro, but I'm sure –

Aro held up a hand for silence, cutting Carlisle off.

"Ah, things have not been going smoothly, have they my friend." Aro purred, holding Carlisle's hand between two of his. "Many changes have occurred...many changes…" His voice was far away, as if he was lost in Carlisle's thoughts.

"Edward, the last time we met you made a promise didn't you?"

"Yes Aro, I did but-

Again he held up a hand silencing me, "You told me that Bella would be changed, yet so much time has passed," his eyes took in Bella, with the massive wolf in front of her, "and she is still human, more importantly she seems to have gone to someone else…"

I winced at Aro's words, but there was nothing I could say or do that would fix anything. His thoughts weren't even focused fully on us; they were in constant motion. He was hiding something…

"You know what the penalty is for revealing us." Caius's voice hissed from behind Aro, "The human is a liability, a danger to us."

"Do you honestly think this human girl is a danger?" Carlisle said gesturing to Bella, "She has kept our secret for so many years, why would she betray us now?"

"Besides," Emmet cut in, "She has no proof of our existence, anyone she told would think she was insane anyway." Rosalie glared at Emmet and took a step closer to him.

"The laws we make are to be obeyed, threats should be taken care of." Caius stated in a matter of fact voice.

"If the Volturi see one human girl as a threat then maybe they are not fit to lead." Jasper's cool voice came from the back of clearing, matching Caius's tone. Instantly nine pairs of eyes fell on Jasper. Alice's arm tightened on his arm, she was afraid, that much I got from her head. She couldn't see what was going to happen; being blind scared her unlike anything else.

"I could have your head for that" Alec said, stepping forward.

Jasper sank into a crouch, "You can try."

"Peace Alec," Aro said, touching the young boy's shoulder, "it is not a fight we came for and I do not intend to annihilate such a talented coven over one girl. My brothers and I shall discuss the matter and see what is to be done."

"Believe me something will be done." Caius said his voice a low growl.

The five of them disappeared into the woods, they went out of vampire hearing range and the clearing was quite again. Everyone stayed frozen in place for about five seconds. Then our small circle collapsed on itself.

"Can you see _anything _Alice?"

Alice still had her hands on Jasper's arm, her eyes were blank. After a few seconds she silently shook her head. Jacob whined softy and pressed and Bella. She let out a puff of air and buried her face in the wolf's massive shoulder. I stared at them for a moment, my chest burning in pain. That should be me holding her. It should be _me_. But it wasn't.

"Could you read anything from their thoughts son?" Carlisle asked, breaking my train of thought.

"Nothing clear," I replied, my eyes still on Bella, "Their thoughts kept jumping to different, unrelated topics. They were blocking me. Aro seemed happy about something though, but I couldn't pinpoint what."

Carlisle frowned, this wasn't making sense. Aro obviously meant what he said about letting us live since he only brought Alec and Jane to defend him. He didn't even seem interested in Jacob and on top of it all he only asked to see Carlisle's thoughts when he was always so eager to read Alice. What was he up to?

* * *

"We have come to a decision" Aro's voice floated over to us moments before he stepped back into the clearing. A smug smile was on his face, Caius's lips were drawn together in a tight line and Marcus seemed distressed.

"As you all know the Volturi have but one simple law," Aro continued as he walked in a slow circle around us, "our existence must remain unknown to humans, to protect us, to give us the upper hand," he slowed as he passed in front of Bella and appraised her out of the corner of his eyes.

"For all the years we have ruled, this law has been followed… until now." Aro came to a stop in front of me. He looked up, his red eyes locking onto my hazel. "You, my boy, are the first to have broken our law in such an obvious and outright manner. In normal circumstances you would already but dead, but to waste such talent, well," he smiled slightly, "that would be a shame."

A wave of unease crept up my spine; Aro was still masking his thoughts from me, his true intentions remaining a mystery.

"I am not a sadistic ruler; I do not enjoy destroying my own kind and believe me when I say I do not intend to harm your family."

I could feel it coming, his true intensions were about to come to light.

"I will even let the human live"

Here it came, what kind of torture would he put me through? I would bear it, for my family, for her. I would take it all for her.

"All you have to do is one thing."

"And what would that be?" I said, finding my voice at last.

"Join us."


End file.
